Articles

Genuine Heart of Sadness -Katy Rose (2018)

The “genuine heart of sadness” is the awakened heart, the non-conceptual awareness of genuine sympathy for the human condition of suffering.

When we acknowledge our fear, we recognize the sadness prompting those tears. An awkwardness or uncertainty may follow this first birth of working with the softness of our human heart, but soon we realize all is workable.

Positive Psychology - Katy Rose (2018)

Seligman in his article “Positive Prevention and Positive Therapy” speaks to the changing wisdom in psychology today to focus on “building competency, not correcting weakness.” The disease model applied in psychology before WW II, did not address the prevention of major emotional disorders, such as schizophrenia, depression or substance abuse. Instead, psychology sought out the weakness in the self-constructs of mind and emotion. As a result, stigmas were reinforced when a patient was labeled with mental illness. How can one heal with such negative reinforcement devaluing them as a human being? Not possible. Building human strengths, not weaknesses, provide opportunity to either prevent or possibly heal the individual.

The aim of positive psychology is to build strength, individual fulfillment and to nurture a thriving community on three different levels: subjective level, individual level and group level. The subjective level embodies well-being in the flow and joy of life, including optimism for the future. The individual level calls forth the capacity to love and forgive, thus, cultivating wisdom. The group level engages civic virtues within the larger community, such as altruism and responsibility.

The subjective, individual and group levels unexpectedly coalesced in a Washington State Court room in the Spring of 2011.

An unknown man attempted to break into my home at 2 AM in the morning. He was loud and verbally violent wildly kicking my front door screaming obscenities. I awoke startled and frightened. Grabbing my phone, I called 911, as I locked myself in the bathroom.  The police were able to arrive before the man entered my home, subdue and arrest him.

I received a Victim's Advocate for the court proceeding. The court room was full to capacity on the day of the hearing. When my case came before the judge, I asked my Victim's Advocate if I could walk to the front of the courtroom and meet the man who caused the disturbance at my home.

I was granted permission and faced a young fearful man standing shackled in prison uniform next to the attorneys and judge. I felt compassion.

I asked him why and he shook silently in fearful remorse. I shared how I felt violated and frightened for my personal safety. He began to cry and sobbed the words, "I am so sorry, so ashamed. Please forgive me."

I responded that I did forgive him and wish for the judge and attorneys to consider a rehabilitation program building strength and resiliency, rather than a traditional jail time that would steal his sense of moral well-being.

He broke and wept uncontrollably, as the courtroom remained stoically silent in gasp and wonder. Then the judge spoke to me directly: "In all my years of serving on the bench, I have never witnessed such grace and beauty in forgiveness from a victim’s perspective; you are the most gracious lady ever to come into my courtroom.”

Surprised, I thanked him, with a gentle bow, responding, “we must learn to forgive and love each other.” As I turned around with my Victim Advocate to walk back to my seat, people in the courtroom began to clap one by one, respectfully bowing their heads in acknowledgement.

What a gift we all gave to each other that day! Positive psychology at all three levels: subjective, individual and community.

Love Extends the Grace - Katy Rose (2018)

The secret of beginning a life of deep awareness and sensitivity lies in our willingness to pay attention. Our growth as conscious, awake human beings is marked not so much by grand gestures and visible renunciations but by extending loving attention to the minutest particulars of our lives.

Every relationship, every thought, every gesture is blessed with meaning through the wholehearted attention we bring to it… We often discover that the greatest healing can lie within the smallest gestures: a loving touch, a caring word, the gift of a compassionate heart.