Exploring Attachment Theory

by Katy Rose (2018)

Abstract

This paper explores Attachment Theory from principal founder, John Bowlby, a psychoanalytic psychiatrist who began research in the 1940’s on the bond between mother and infant. His goal was to transform analytical thought in human development by applying ethology perspectives, the evolutionary study of behaviors in natural environments. Mary Ainsworth, a former assistant in research for Bowlby, later discovered distinct variances in qualitative attachment styles which were categorized and incorporated into more current research on Dr. Levine’s and Rachel Heller, M.A.’s adult attachment styles in relationships this paper identifies and examines. Other theory and findings are shared in this paper to offer perspective and understanding in the development theory of relationships including God as an attachment figure, concluding with the existentialist view of “Standing in Love” rather than “Falling in Love.”

Keywords: secure, insecure, avoidant

John Bowlby, the principle founder of Attachment Theory, was a psychoanalytic child psychiatrist. He began research in the 1940’s on the bond between mother and infant inspiring further inquiry in ethology, the evolutionary study of behavior in natural environments. His goal was to transform psychoanalytical thought in human development as he believed the mother-infant bond was a “primary motivational system that evolved to ensure the survival of offspring…genetically biased to develop a set of behavioral patterns…” (Flannelly, 2010). Mary Ainsworth discovered in further research dramatic differences in the quality of attachment styles separating them into three categories: secure, avoidant and ambivalent-resistant or as we now call insecure. My paper will share basic history and development in attachment theory with emphasis on how our attachment style effects the quality of our adult relationships and how to recognize and harmonize opposing styles as posited by the work of Dr. Levine and Rachel Heller, M.A. Lastly, I suggest the existential relationship viewpoint of “standing in love”, rather than “falling in love” so each can become the guardian of solitude for the other through the insight, endurance and action of moral courage represented in Jung’s individuation theory to heal relationships of opposing attachment theory.

Literature Review

“Attachment theory seemed to have much to offer. It promised continuity between the affective cognitive development of the child and the socioemotional development of the young adult. Further, it suggested one type of explanation for adult romantic love. Because the concept of attachment is developmental and is in some measure congruent with both evolutionary and neo-analytic approaches, Hazan and Shaver’s (1987) work received considerable attention in the social-psychological literature” (Hendrick, 2002). There are those who criticize Bowlby’s perspective that the mother controls the dominant effect on attachment style as it leaves out the constitutional and genetic variances the infant may present. Feminist scholars may perceive this approach as another mother blaming bashing. The meta-analytic review of Goldsmith and Alansky (1987) found results for maternal variables were not consistent in various studies. Yet an understanding of attachment theory explains grief intensity. Clergy meet in pastoral counseling with those working with loss and unresolved grief more than psychiatry, psychology and social work combined (Dean, 2018). Attachment theory for them informs and directs treatment from a conceptual base. Other qualitative studies in psychology report growing up with a schizophrenic or psychotic mother effects attachment styles in adult relationships due to the isolation, guilt and abuse the child suffers with that primary caregiver.

Subsequent researchers since Ainsworth found attachment orientations in adulthood were connected with affect regulation patterns unique to the dimension of anxiety or avoidance and that adult attachment styles influence emotional intelligence which consists of three categories of adaptive proficiency: “appraisal and expression of emotion, regulation of emotion, and utilization of emotion in solving problems” (Li, 2014). Kirkpatrick’s (1985) work on attachment to God in contextual realm with Ainsworth’s attachment theory explains “God can be an attachment figure because the two key functions served by such a figure can apply to God: God serves as a haven of safety to whom believers turn in times of distress and as a secure base from who believers explore the world around them” (Sim, 2011).

Discussion

“John Bowlby (1969, 1973) used the evolutionary concepts and observational methods of ethology to develop a theory of the mother-infant relationship known as Attachment Theory. According to that theory, the infant comes into the world equipped with a biological system – the attachment system – to keep it in close proximity with its primary care-giver and protect it from harm. Since the child’s attachment system interacts with the child’s own fear system, and its mother’s maternal care system, the attachment between children and their primary caregivers vary in quality…” (Flannelly, 2018). Bowlby believed we are genetically programmed by evolution to seek out precious connections with a select few who would keep us safe. This attachment system “consists of emotions and behaviors that ensure … we remain safe and protected by staying close to our loved ones” (Levine, 2010) and these developed attachment systems, along with environmental influences define our adult romantic relationships.

Development of adaptive and maladaptive working models of the self and other begin in infancy as the newborn learns the use of “other” as a secure base to explore the environment, and the use of “other” in times of stress and/or danger as a protective shield against the perceived harm. Dr. Levine and Rachel Heller, in their book: Attached, the New Science of Adult Attachment And How It Can Help You Find – And Keep Love identify three adult attachment styles determining the substantive quality in romantic relationships: anxious, secure and avoidant. They describe anxious people as fixating on the questionable fidelity of the relationship, although they crave intimacy, whereas, the secure person usually welcomes intimacy with a warm comfort and ease, rarely questioning their partner’s ability to love them, but in contrast, the avoidant person perceives intimacy as a threat to their autonomy, thus will  habitually minimalize closeness. They are not seen as pathological responses to relationship, simply maladaptive for the anxious and avoidant individuals, as they are unable to communicate and respond effectively when grasping for emotional and psychological safety in relationship.

In infancy, the anxious person usually experienced inconsistency with response to distress and/or nurturing, resulting developmentally and neurologically as feeling insecure and uncertain in relationship dynamics. The avoidant attachment style develops when the primary caregiver remained distant and non-responsive, therefore, the infant, by default, had to develop his/her own sense of autonomy without touch of “other.” So, in adult romantic relationships, intimacy threatens sense of self. Sensitive and available primary caregivers created a secure attachment style for the infant, the most stable and effective establishing balance and genuine connection with their partner. So as a result of the developed primary attachment style, the secure, avoidant and anxious contextually vary on views of intimacy, conflict, sexual affect, and personal needs or expectations from the relationship.

Adults who understand the contextual variance in attachment styles and choose a healthy union rather than isolation awaken the existential desire for true connection. Although the avoidant sends mixed signals, while the insecure anxious desires closeness, as the secure remains reliable and consistent, the insight of the individuation process Jung proposes will support further choice in moral courage through endurance and conscious action. Martin Buber describes the nature of love as the “I-Thou” relationship: subject to subject. Individuals co-exist in genuine living spontaneity rather than objectifying one another in confluence of boundary disturbance specific to opposing attachment styles. Individuals can learn to love the expanse between each other in defining styles becoming each other’s guardian of solitude. This type of interpersonal  love and respect is about “standing in love” not “falling in love” (T. Leao, Humanistic Existential Psychology, April 24, 2018).

Early attachment relationship also defines how the infant comes to know him or herself in social awareness. So, if the infant feels loved and cherished, they will grow into confident adults believing they are loveable not only in romantic relationships, but also in social context. If this initial learning of the infant suggests they are unwanted and subsequently neglected by primary caregiver, an anxious or avoidant attachment style develops disrupting the intimacies of adult romantic relationship (Shaw, 2005).

Reciprocity in adult relationships brings to mind that the individual learns to become both a caregiver and support seeker of that equanimity desired in safe balance of interdependence. This development begins around 3-4 years of age as the child begins to form cognitive and emotional constructs to anticipate actions of the “other.” In the evolution of the young child’s sense of self, the primary caregiver profoundly impacts the affect-regulation of either positive or negative self-worth in all future relationships with “other.” Further research by Crittenden (1995), suggests “the self-concept can be organized…into affective and cognitive components because they are governed by separate brain systems; affect is associated with the limbic system, which is functional by birth, and cognition is associated with the cortex, which matures after birth (Shaw, 2005). Crittenden believed individuals learn value in the predictive powers to navigate through relationship as a direct result from interacting with primary caregiver.

Bowlby, although trained in psychoanalysis, preferred to begin observation when a traumatic event occurred moving forward in the evolution of the adult personality, rather than  working backwards through the symptomology. Allen and Land (1999) suggest “a central parental caregiving role is to facilitate adolescents in coping with, and managing, seemingly intolerable affect…[as] the relationship provides a secure base in which to understand, rehearse, and manage the strong affect that might be associated with managing new relationships, living as an autonomous adult, and perhaps becoming attachment figures themselves” (Shaw, 2005). Later, Allen and his colleagues, demonstrated that secure teenagers used mutual empathy and validation skills when discussing opposing views with their mothers. Kirkpatrick and Shaver (1992) revealed “individuals who had a secure attachment to God were more satisfied with life…” and Belavich and Pargament (2002) found that “secure attachment to God was associated with better emotional adjustment…” (Flannelly, 2018).

In conclusion “Attachment theory suggests that early parenting behaviors shape children’s internal working models of relationships (Ainsworth and Bowlby, 1991). Children construct understanding of their worthiness of being loved and ability to trust others through early parental contact. These early constructs remain stable and informative throughout the lifespan of all relationships. Individuals can change and heal unhealthy attachment styles through existential trust in Jung’s individuation model of insight, endurance and action," as with a secure attachment to God as the other. “In a true partnership, both partners view it as their responsibility to ensure the other’s emotional well-being…A relationship, from the attachment perspective should make you feel more self-confident and give you peace of mind…remain true to your authentic self” (Levine, 2010).

References

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